A pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.
The local newspaper read: PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local newspaper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES…HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day….
The moral of the story is being concerned about public opinion can bring one much grief and misery and even shorten one’s life. So be yourself and enjoy life. You’ll be a lot happier and live longer!
I’ve learn that u cannot make someone love u, all u
can do is stalk them until they panic n give in..
I’ve learn that no matter how much I care, some people
r just assholes..
I’ve learn that it takes years 2built up trust but it
only takes suspicion nor proof to destroy it..
I’ve learn that u can getby on charm for about
15minutes, after that u better ve a big willy or huge boobs..
I’ve learn that u shouldn’t compare yourself to
others, they r more screwed up than u ever think..
I’ve learn that regardless of how hot n steamy a
relationship is at first, the passion just faded n these had better be a lot of
money 2take it’s place..
I’ve learn that the person u care most about in life
are taken from u too soon n all the less important ones just don’t go
away..
One day, a man is driving on a freeway in a suburban area, and suddenly, his car broke down. He called someone for help, but people told him that they couldn’t come help him until the next morning.
So the man decided to wait. While he is waiting, he saw a huge house that is near to highway. He wants to try if the people in the house can let him stay for one night.
He knocked on the door, and an old lady opened the door for him. He asked if he could stay for a night, the old lady said yes. "There are many rooms; you can choose any room you like. But do not go to the one at the end of the hall because that is my daughters room," says the old lady.
The man relaxed and fell asleep. However, while he was sleeping, a music and a singing woke him up. He followed the sound and went to the last room of the hall. He tried to open the door, but he couldn’t. So he looked through the keyhole, and he saw a beautiful girl dancing and singing. He went back to sleep, but woke up again because he was attracted by the lovely voice again. He decided to look into the keyhole one more time. But this time he only saw a red image, it’s like a red thing blocking the view that he wanted to see.
The next day, the man thanked the old lady and asked questions about her daughter. The old lady looked sad and told him, "my daughter is a beautiful kid, she has long hair and lovely face, but she died a few years ago." The man was shocked and surprised. The old lady continued, "But there is something weird and special about my daughter."
and you open the door
and you step inside
we're inside our hearts
now imagine your pain
is a white ball of healing light
that's right, feel your pain,
the pain itself,
is a white ball of healing light
i don't think so
this is your life
good to the last drop,
doesn't get any better than this
this is your life, and it's ending
one minute at a time
this isn't a seminar
and this isn't a weekend retreat
where you are now
you can't even imagine
what the bottom will be like
only after disaster
can we be resurrected
it's only after you've lost
everything that you're
free to do anything
nothing is static,
everything is appalling (evolving),
everything is
falling apart
you are not a beautiful and unique snowflake
you are the same decaying
organic matter as everything else
we are all a part of the same compost heap
we are the all-singing,
all-dancing crap of the world
you are not your bank account,
you are not the clothes you wear
you are not the contents of your wallet
you are not your bowel cancer
you are not your grande latte
you are not the car you drive
you are not your fucking khakis
you have to give up
you have to realise that someday you will die,
until you know that you are useless
i say let me never be complete
i say may i never be content
i say deliver me from swedish furniture
i say deliver me from clever art
i say deliver me from clear skin and perfect teeth
i say you have to give up
i say evolve, and let the chips
fall where they may
i want you to hit me as hard as you can
welcome to fight club
if this is your first night
you have to fight
- Dust Brother, Fight Club
